Self-Reflection/Update
Dear Diary,
I haven't really done a blog or a vlog on instagram in a while. SO much has happened since my last vlog (the baby shower). I became a senior??! I have so many mixed feelings about being a senior. I mean, I'm so happy to be able to graduate a whole year early by just picking up 2 extra classes and it's not that much work tbh, but like, I feel like now I have an obligation to have like perfect grades (not saying i have bad grades but now it just feels forced upon). By graduating early too, it kinda feels like I'm missing out on all the teenager stuff. Hanging out with friends all the time, going to parties, just having free time in general that I don't have anymore with school work taking up most of my time. And with my family it's so confusing too because I'm expected to enjoy my last year of high school; so basically go to all the senior events, all the trips, buy a yearbook, spend time with friends more, the whole thing. But, when I have the tiniest ounce of free time, I need to spend it home because I don't spend enough time in my house. I think my family (my parents mostly) just don't see me growing up, especially since I'm the youngest. And I don't really have anyone older than me to go to for questions about college and stuff like my siblings since the last time they were in high school was like 2016, so it's obviously more different. It's just a lot of mixed feelings being a senior, at least for me. But besides the whole senior thing, I quit cheer :( It just got too expensive and I needed to use my money for senior fee's and for a car. Speaking of money, I literally CANNOT get a job for the life of me. Everyone says that they're hiring and then I go to the interview and NOTHING. And I know I'm not the only one who can't get a job because it's literally everyone I know who can't get a job. I'm telling you, this seasonal depression ain't it, it has been affecting literally everything in my life, from school to my relationships with other people, these past few weeks have been ROUGH but you'll hear about that in another blog.