Healing: Mentally & Physically

Dear Diary, 

                     this week has been an absolute rollercoaster, with break ups, mid-terms, friends, the whole thing has been crumbling. The 159 days until graduation is what's keeping me motivated. Who cares about a break up when I'm literally graduating early? And I know, it sounds cold-hearted, but to be honest, compared to my first boyfriend and now, I literally feel fine. A week later after my first break up, I would've been crying still and my mental health would've been at an all time low; but now with my second relationship, I cried for maybe 30 minutes when it first happened and then stopped because I had to do homework. ("who cares if I'm pretty if I fail my finals?" - Rory Gilmore, she's so real for that.) I mean, of course, I cried for a few days later but knew I had to pick myself up real quick. And people would ask if I'm okay, and usually I lie and say I'm fine, but this time I was literally fine. Being sad keeps you sad. This break up I can proudly say did NOT get in the way of my grades. If anything, my grades went up (all A's!) since I distracted myself with all the school work. Obviously, that's not the best coping mechanism (but it sure helps). I made sure to be in touch with my emotions and process what I was feeling but overall, I got over the whole situation in less than 3 days. One thing about me is that when I get really stressed or sad, I get EXTREMELY SICK. And it's the worst because you can't like get allergy medicine or anything, you just have to wait it out. Also, I LOVELOVELOVE retail therapy, it took me 20 minutes in Urban Outfitter to spend over $200 dollars and I loved every single minute of it. Lastly, I've been distancing myself from some people. It sounds bad, ik, but honestly, going through this whole situation made me realize that I have got to focus on me more. Because the day that you break and go off on them, they are going to leave you and call you rude, and who has time for that when you got so much going on in your life?? NOT ME!! Anywaysss, I know I've been saying I'm gonna post a vlog for the past 2 months (too much has been going on clearly), but I promise I have the next vlogs lines up I just need to edit them!! As always, thanks for hearing my rant and if you're going through anything difficult right now that no one knows about, remember to give it to God first, and focus on yourself! ♡♥︎